In most cases, spouses ignore the signs of discontent and complaints from their partners until when the relationship is just about to end. As a result, most spouses are shocked when their partner suddenly announces that he/she wants to end the relationship, is moving out, or has already filed for divorce. Suddenly, you may panic and feel needy in front of your partner. However, this only makes things worse because you appear desperate and weak. Is there any way of getting our partner back at this last ditch point? Here are some effective tips on how to re attract your partner back fast.
1. Take some time to calm down
After breaking up with your spouse you may feel quite bad, but you need some time to clear out your head in order to regain control of your emotions before doing anything. On the other hand, your spouse might be angry, confused, and grieving after the breakup. Therefore, you need to know when to contact your ex and resist the urge to text, call, or visit too often since they may become resistant. When you give your partner enough time to reflect, most probably they will have a different perspective about your relationship.
2. Listen to your partner
Differences are often irreconcilable when married couples are not willing to listen to each other. Therefore, instead of insisting on stating your case, give your spouse the chance to talk and pay close attention to what s/he has to say. Showing your partner that you are truly willing to listen is a clear indication that you want to save your relationship. Even if you don't agree, listen keenly and try to understand without invalidating their feelings. It is very important to realize that these are the feelings the person you love harbors. On the other hand, listening is a good way to read the wants and emotions of your partner through speech and body language while acting accordingly.
3. Do not blame anyone for your breakup
You must understand that nobody is to blame for ending the relationship, sometimes things just do not go as planned. Blaming anyone or anything will just hold you from getting back together with our partner. When you ex sees that you are stable, will make them want to be with you and regard you seriously.
4. Be flexible
If you truly want to re attract your partner back, avoid issuing mandates at all costs. You cannot scare your partner into returning. Relationships end because spouses are unsatisfied with some aspects of the relationship. In order to rebuild the important bridge of communication, you need to meet halfway by being available. After all, nobody wants to be involved with someone who is always busy. However, being flexible and available does not mean conceding to every demand.
5. Act confidently: display your strength
Your partner fell in love with a balanced and happy person who could easily fulfill his/her emotional needs. Even though it is understandable you are sad and unhappy because your spouse is pulling away from you, if you cling and desperately hang on, you appear more unhappy and undesirable. Nobody wants to be around a clingy person. If you are fun, attentive and friendly, s/he will want to spend some time with you and s/he will slowly but surely gravitate back to you. A strong man or woman is more attractive than a desperate person. This shows your spouse that you will survive either way since it will be clear that you are not trying to re attract your partner back simply because you needy weakling who can't make it without them. However, you must try your best not to be arrogant since this may actually push your spouse further away and also frustrate your genuine effort. Be the person you spouse fell in love with.
6. Reflect
In most cases, break ups and divorces are an accumulation of several major and minor marital disputes, which have not been addressed and effectively resolved ever since they arose. This can be a behavior that your spouse cannot tolerate anymore. Beak ups can also occur because of a specific event. Regardless of the cause, you need to take some time to gently reflect on your relationship or marital life and things that have been going wrong. When your partner starts opening up, acknowledge your mistakes and shortcomings. It is vital for spouses not to be self centered or biased when airing their concerns. Although, there are various things you might have done to avoid this situation, this is not the best time to regret your mistakes it is the best time to figure out the specific problems in your relationship and understand your mistakes.
7. Establish a common ground and address your physical and emotional needs
If an argument starts and your spouse says that you do not care about what s/he wants, drop the issue at hand and let them genuinely know that you started the relationship primarily because you want both of you to be happy. Once you fully understand each other's genuine desires and needs, find effective means of addressing them in order for your spouse to feel loved and appreciated in a more sensible way. If you are willing to re attract your partner back, be sure to show genuine effort in addressing the concerns aired by your spouse.
8. Discuss your future
Pretending that there are no problems in your relationship will not make them disappear. Everyone has his or her own unique plans and expectations. You need to find ways of acknowledging and accommodating each other's unique future goals and differences in a sensible way. Make some time to speak with your spouse openly and lay all your differences and problems on the table. Communicate your feelings calmly and let them know that you want them to stay with you.
9. Be honest and faithful
When you are honest, you will get honesty in return. Moreover, respect and honesty always go hand in hand. However, you have to prepare yourself emotionally and know how you will respond and react to possible answers from your spouse from the start. Remind them that you made a commitment to each other and let them know that you care about your relationship by clearly showing your willingness to rebuild the strong bond. Getting your partner back takes the courage to bring up and tackle any problems as soon as they arise in order to avoid worse consequences.
Infidelity is one of the most common causes of divorce. Besides being honest with each other, spouses should always remain faithful because the relationship is a long-term solemn commitment to your partner.
10. Reignite the old feelings
Be yourself; you need to be exactly the person your spouse fell in love with in the first place. Therefore, you need to take care of your body and dress in a way that your partner loves. Making yourself more appealing will also improves the chances of getting you partner back. Indulging in activities that you both love will remind your partner of how it used to be with you. Bringing back the good old feelings also helps to reignite your relationship. This helps you build a harmonious mental relationship with our partner and hence emotional closeness and mutual trust.
11. Be open and ready to change
After reflecting on what has been troubling your relationship, agree and endeavor to make the necessary changes in your interaction and routines. Although you will try your best, it is important to understand that change is a process that takes time and getting used to change takes time. However, things that should have been done differently should not be repeated.
12. Learn how to handle failures and disappointments
It is very important for couples to understand all their imperfections and limitations in the relationship. Expressing anger is quite normal; however, it is vital to learn how to control emotion and your immediate reaction in order to avoid reacting inappropriately. Most minor problems escalate when spouses overreact or become defensive even when they truly know what is their partner is saying is true.
13. Do things together
Connecting with your partner lovingly increases the chances of marital success. In order to create a strong and long-lasting bond with your spouse, you should always find the time to do fun and exciting things together. Whether it is bowling, dancing, scuba diving, skiing or playing cards, always ensure that you enjoy at least one activity together every week. In case you have kids, ensure that at least half of the activities are for you and your partner only. The exclusive time together helps you to reconnect and understand each other's feelings.
14. Take care of your physical self
Sometimes after the breakup you might you might want to just sit at home watching TV or playing video games all day. However, this will neither bring her back nor make you feel better. On the other hand, you might have gotten too comfortable around your spouse that you forgot to take care of your physical self. Besides making you more attractive, working out, taking care of your diet and playing a sport you like not only takes care of your mental health but it also makes you happier. Moreover, this is a chance to hang out with new and old friends, which gives you attraction points especially in your partner's eyes.
15. Be friends with your spouse
Success in friendship is key to happiness in your relationship or marriage. If true friendship is successfully established within your relationship, it is a strong indication that you can stay together and your relationship can still work. Some vital aspects in this kind of friendship include demonstrating affection, genuine respect for each other, knowing each other very intimately, and genuinely enjoying time spent together.
16. Don't try to make you ex jealous
Even as you try not to look desperate, you still want your partner to know that you still value the relationship. However, trying to make him/her jealous shows that you have already moved on and they should do also do the same. Display confidence without seeming desperate and needy in order for your partner to realize that despite your differences and/or fights you were great together. Both men and women are more attracted to strong, interesting, and funny people than to weak and submissive people.
17. Find a new activity to focus on
When you focus your attention on new activities, you will have less time to reminisce the past and miss you partner. You will definitely feel stronger as you regain control of your life. Moreover, when you finally meet your partner, you will appear happier and more confident as you talk about casual things at the beginning of your meeting simply because your mind has been occupied by new activities. Hopefully, your partner might even get curious and get second thoughts about your past relationship. Developing other forms of entertainment will also make your relationship exciting when you get back your partner.
18. Don't panic when your partner starts seeing someone else
Sometimes your partner might start seeing someone else immediately after the breakup and this can be very tough to bear especially if you are still obsessing over him/her. However, most relationships that start soon after break ups are normally rebound relationships. The faster a rebound relationship moves, the faster it ends mainly because most people rush into such relationships just to realize it was not the right relationship. However, trying to convince your partner that this is not the right relationship for them will only make them want it more. Moreover, they might even make it last longer in order to prove you wrong. Avoid giving your opinion about the relationship and concentrate on your life. Do not freak out and call your partner since you will only end up making a fool of yourself.
Clearly, getting your partner is not impossible. However, you must be ready and willing to make the necessary effort to solve things as soon as possible. These strategies on how to get your partner will definitely help you in your quest, but you must be flexible and continue adapting to the situation. In order to get a strong start, skip the moping, soothe the shock, and make a strong action plan depending on the reaction and response you get from your partner.
